My House is Officially Rated PG-13
My life is so boring. Today I got up, drank my water, ran, ate my oatmeal, went to class and then went to the grocery store. I bought cherry pie filling, but I also bought cherries to give the illusion that I didn't use cherry pie filling. Today I made two pies. One for us (because who can not eat a hot-cherry pie with vanilla ice cream?) and one for k'boi (RWA's suggestion). Actually, I made the crusts last night, but do you really care? Me either. Sooo....
Check it out. I live with four other college gurls in a house a block away from campus. Two of these gurls, let us call them hos, have decided to try to convince the world that they are bi. They've convinced me, although I was there for the discussion about it being fake. But they are both convinced that it will be fun, and that everyone likes bi-chicks. Anyway, they need only the slightest pretense (i.e., audience + alcohol) to kiss. For some reason, boys like this. A lot. They claim (when its just us here) that they are only being goofy. To everyone else, though, they claim to be bi. Boys also like this. A lot.
PottyMouth (Ho #1) was around when I got home. She immediately started asking if she could have my cherry (roll eyes) and then if I wanted her cherry (that ship has long sailed). Then she turned to her fellow bi-ho (I can't think of a pithy name for her. Get it? Pithy? Cherry Pit. Ha-ha.) With lips almost touching, she held the cherry between them. Then they kissed the cherry, allowing their lips to fully envelope it. This was followed by a rather long and disgusting kiss, complete with both sets of jaws working. Moments later PottyMouth pulled away with the stem between her teeth, while her partner in slime spit out the hull. They did this two or three times. (Girls, I need you leave some of those cherries around so I can pretend to know how to cook. See how boring the story gets when I mention me?)
Then Teri came in. After their next performance, Teri told bi-ho #2 that she was going to lose her reputation, "because everyone thinks you always swallow seed." Bwahaahaaaahaaahahaa. I got tiny ice cubes in my nose because I was drinking a lime slush at the time.
Check it out. I live with four other college gurls in a house a block away from campus. Two of these gurls, let us call them hos, have decided to try to convince the world that they are bi. They've convinced me, although I was there for the discussion about it being fake. But they are both convinced that it will be fun, and that everyone likes bi-chicks. Anyway, they need only the slightest pretense (i.e., audience + alcohol) to kiss. For some reason, boys like this. A lot. They claim (when its just us here) that they are only being goofy. To everyone else, though, they claim to be bi. Boys also like this. A lot.
PottyMouth (Ho #1) was around when I got home. She immediately started asking if she could have my cherry (roll eyes) and then if I wanted her cherry (that ship has long sailed). Then she turned to her fellow bi-ho (I can't think of a pithy name for her. Get it? Pithy? Cherry Pit. Ha-ha.) With lips almost touching, she held the cherry between them. Then they kissed the cherry, allowing their lips to fully envelope it. This was followed by a rather long and disgusting kiss, complete with both sets of jaws working. Moments later PottyMouth pulled away with the stem between her teeth, while her partner in slime spit out the hull. They did this two or three times. (Girls, I need you leave some of those cherries around so I can pretend to know how to cook. See how boring the story gets when I mention me?)
Then Teri came in. After their next performance, Teri told bi-ho #2 that she was going to lose her reputation, "because everyone thinks you always swallow seed." Bwahaahaaaahaaahahaa. I got tiny ice cubes in my nose because I was drinking a lime slush at the time.
posted by Julene | 5:11 PM
4 Comments:
That sounds a little stronger than PG-13, and it really seems that they aren't pretending!!!
I wonder why it is that guys like to see women kiss?
I haven't figured out why it's so trendy, because I'm a guy, and I'm just not really all that turned on by it.
Granted, it does a lot more for me than watching two guys kiss.
You have one cool room-mate and two sheep room mates. Being bi to be trendy is ridiculous. The seed comment made me snort. . . . I am not a snorter.
I'm not a snorter either, but I got that slush in my nose, which hurt a little bit. That story has been told sooooo many times around here.
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