But I'm not bitter
My boyfriend of two years and I just broke up. Well, we didn't really break up so much as he decided to sleep with someone else. And while I never thought this was going to last forever, I always thought that I would be the one to find someone better. But I'm not bitter.
According to his persistent emails since the big event, this was really my fault, because I wouldn't (how does a lady say this?) fuck his brains out. And you'll be glad to know that he wants to try to work through this. I've been working on my measured response, but I am having difficulty figuring out how to get close enough to him when he has his glasses off to stick a pencil four inches into his left eye socket. But I'm not bitter.
I'm hoping that if I authorize a few more computers on my iTunes, will it automatically erase all those songs from his iPod. Will it? But I'm not bitter.
So, I've got no plans for the weekend. I guess I can research how to poison someone using ordinary kitchen spices. Then I can bake him a cake, just to show there are no hard feelings. I'm glad I'm not bitter.
According to his persistent emails since the big event, this was really my fault, because I wouldn't (how does a lady say this?) fuck his brains out. And you'll be glad to know that he wants to try to work through this. I've been working on my measured response, but I am having difficulty figuring out how to get close enough to him when he has his glasses off to stick a pencil four inches into his left eye socket. But I'm not bitter.
I'm hoping that if I authorize a few more computers on my iTunes, will it automatically erase all those songs from his iPod. Will it? But I'm not bitter.
So, I've got no plans for the weekend. I guess I can research how to poison someone using ordinary kitchen spices. Then I can bake him a cake, just to show there are no hard feelings. I'm glad I'm not bitter.
posted by Julene | 7:28 PM
4 Comments:
Hilarious. You go, girl. But save the spices (they are expensive, dammit) and just go do something you've been putting off. And do it ALONE. Take a surfing lesson (I don't know if you are near the ocean?), climb a mountain, bungee jump, get a manicure, go for a run, smile at as many people as possible in one hour (and keep count), create your own playlist of RAH WOMEN songs (i dunno, how about R-E-S-P-E-C-T for starters?) and eat 2 pieces of fruit daily. Just for sweetness... to counteract the [not]bitter. Sending energy to heal your way!
PS) You KNOW in your gut this was the best thing to ever happen at right this second. Go with THAT energy. THAT is exciting!
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Best thing to ever happen? I can think of better things, but then I'm not a particularly long-range thinker.
I'm over him. I'm pissed, but I'm over him. (Except for the part where I miss having him around and stuff --other than that, I'm over him.)
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